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Godzilla

Published 2014-11-22

Godzilla

Film info

  • Title Godzilla
  • Director Gareth Edwards
  • Year 2014
  • Run time 2hr 3m
  • Genres Action, Science Fiction, Drama
  • Tagline The world ends, Godzilla begins
  • Cast Bryan Cranston

In this gritty, realistic sci-fi action epic, Godzilla returns to its roots as one of the world's most recognised monsters. Directed by Gareth Edwards and featuring an all-star international cast, this spectacular adventure pits Godzilla against malevolent creatures that, bolstered by humanity's scientific arrogance, threaten our very existence.

Live blog

TimeComment
1:25Very clever credits. Bonus submarines too.
6:23"This one looks broken." Most terrifying words ever.
8:57"You are a maniac. Just not about this."
12:03Can you run away from radiation like that?
17:07I spend much of my film time coveting people's amazing glassware.
18:50She clearly doesn't know how these things work. "You're only going to be gone a few days."
23:53Boo-eees. Buoys.
38:37Godzilla has wings now?
44:49"We call him... dun, dun, dun... Godzilla."
51:40Submarine for a snack.
57:17Oh, that's Godzilla.
1:01:19"I guess we're monster hunters now."
1:03:57Is it like Roswell? Alien Godzillas?
1:07:12Why do the military people NEVER listen to the science people?
1:09:10That's a nuclear warhead, on a train. Has no one seen Unstoppable?
1:14:47Is someone going to have to give up their life? That bomb is susceptible to the EMP.
1:24:38There are moments of this film, like this one, that are so Jurassic Park it hurts.
1:33:30Turns out Godzilla was the good guy all along.
1:37:34Can't really see why they've parachuted in with guns, they're not going to be any use.
1:40:19Someone should have brought a flamethrower.
1:50:37That's twice Godzilla has saved his life. He must be the chosen one.

Thoughts

So bad. So, so bad. I'm not sure I was hugely excited going into the film, Godzilla is something that has mostly passed me by up until this point. But I love a blockbuster as much as the next person, so hey, bring on the big monster.

What a terrible film it turned out to be. It actually made Transformers seem a lot better. Whereas Transformers had all the right ingredients but the wrong method, Godzilla didn't have too much stuff going on and mostly made sense... it was just badly done.

The only thing going for it was some incredible CGI, really strong stuff and in places beautiful. Otherwise, it was a massive rip-off of Jurassic Park, Aliens, Jaws and more, with characters that weren't particularly interesting, and so many tropes in there it was almost painful. The only original bit I think I saw was when she turned and ran from one monster only to find another waiting.

Awful. To be avoided.

Rating: 1 / 5

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