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Octopussy

Published 2015-08-31

Octopussy

Film info

  • Title Octopussy
  • Director John Glen
  • Year 1983
  • Run time 2hr 11m
  • Genres Thriller, Adventure, Action
  • Tagline James Bond's all time high
  • Cast Roger Moore

Roger Moore as James Bond is lured to the Indian palace of Octopussy where he learns of a plot by a diabolical villain that could destroy the world.

Live blog

TimeComment
2:02In all the Bond films so far, I still end up marvelling at the reversible jacket.
5:51I'm not sure you can store a supersonic jet in a horse box.
11:04Fleeing clown is not camouflaged.
16:04The clown was a double oh! Not very inconspicuous.
17:22Russian dude has the inflection of a Dalek.
19:25Sulky dictator is funny.
27:30"Well, my backhand improved."
33:03That is a massive chequebook.
33:37Dice rage.
38:34Covering up that advert is super genius.
49:22I hope that octopus wasn't supposed to be threatening. It's cute!
1:01:00If you act like a dead body, peeps gonna throw you around like a dead body.
1:03:12Elephants don't make for good chase sequences - it's not elegant or fast.
1:10:53Bad guy is wearing the Blofeld tunic now.
1:17:09Ohhh, I liked Vijay.
1:19:31I take it back. That's not a cute octopus at all.
1:34:05This is the most convoluted plot ever. Still not sure how the jewellery and the bomb actually fit together.
1:41:16It's bizarre that he managed to get in the monkey suit without anyone noticing. But not the craziest thing we've seen today.
1:55:12Oh sure, just shoot a gun at the bomb why don't you.
2:00:13Bond picks the slowest form of transport, impossible to control and with a massive flag on the side. Dear me.
2:08:06Haha, credit for "Thug with yo-yo."

Thoughts

I tweeted that Moonraker was the worst Bond film to date, and expected that to be the low point. Sadly, Octopussy plumbed new depths of terrible, but for totally different reasons. Where Moonraker had a rushed plot with laughable ideas, Octopussy felt like it could have been good - but it was all wrong.

There was the makings of a normal, sensible Bond plot in there: evil people trying to cause chaos and needing to be stopped by a super duper international spy. Sadly, it was bungled together with some dodgy circus acts, some worse than ever sexism (you always expect a little bit with Bond, but he'd been getting better of late), some drawn out subplots, and a general feeling of unlikeableness.

I quite liked Vijay too. Hopefully we've hit the low points now, but I've said that before!

Rating: 1 / 5

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